Day 30: Your favourite song

Yay last blog entry for this challenge. But seriously, they could have thought of a better topic to finish on.

Anywho. My favourite song changes on a regular basis. At the moment I'm loving "Plans" by Birds of Tokyo. But there are some songs that I've loved for a long time. Like "Be With You" by Enrique Iglesias, "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed, and "White Horses" by The Sundays. I'm sure there are others, but they're all I can think of at the moment.

So that's the 30 day challenge over. I'm hoping to keep up with regular blogging from now on. Most likely not every day, but I'm aiming for at least twice a week. Here's hoping :)

Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned

Hmm, let's see. I've learned that my art for bullshit seems to be getting better every semester. And by that I mean I can make an essay that took a few hours to write sound like I've been spending a lot of time and research on it.

I've also learned that drinking in Sydney is far cheaper than in Perth. I pay $6.20 for a vodka lemonade at the hotel I'm staying at. If I were to order the same drink in Perth, I would pay $8+. Oh, and I got a double shot of vodka in my drink here as well. Win!

Seriously though, I've learned that I need to get away every now and then to recharge my batteries. Where I don't have to worry about anyone but me, and I don't have to answer to anyone. Plus, alone time is something I need to stay sane.

Other than that, there's really not much. Uni has finished, so I haven't learned anything new there. So, my brain hasn't really filled up much in the last 29 days. Shame.

Day 28: A picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

This one was from August or September last year. It was a random night at Nikki's, and we were just taking pictures with everything in her house. This was a crystal goblet I think. It was epic dusty.

Well I'm blonde now. And my hair is longer. But other than that, I don't really think I've changed. I guess I'm more happy because I have a lot more things to look forward to. But I still have the same friends, same job. Maybe next year I'll be totally different?

Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

I almost missed it for today. I fell asleep earlier, and thought "Bugger it" if I didn't wake up in time. But now I'm wide awake. It's 1:11am Sydney time, but my body is still on Perth time, so ner :P

I'm doing this challenge because I saw that Nikki was doing it and I thought I should get back into blogging. I've started a few before but haven't kept up with them. But now I'm forcing myself to get on here everyday, even if it's just about meaningless crap. Hopefully I'll get into the habit of it so I can do a proper job of it for my travel diary next year.

In other news, my hair is finally dry from getting totally drenched earlier in the evening. I was kinda hoping it would go a bit wavy since I didn't brush it and I've been sleeping, but no. It's back to being dead straight again *sigh*

Day 2 of Sydney to look forward to tomorrow/today :)

Day 26: What do you think about your friends

They are a bunch of imbeciles who I only put up with to satisfy my need for social interaction.

Seriously? What kind of blog topic is this?

I love my friends. I only have a few close ones, and some uni and work friends that I don't really socialise with out of that environment.

I've noticed that my relationship with each friend is slightly different, as I hang out with them for different reasons. I hang out with Nikki for just normal stuff, the pleasure of her company, and for just hanging out at the movies or at home over a few drinks. Also for very interesting conversations. I hang out with Chad for frivolous pursuits, and to explore the world a bit more. I hang out with Rachel if I want a night out, and can talk to her about things that I can't talk about with anyone else.

So yes, I love my friends and I don't know what I would do without them <3

Day 25: What I would find in your bag

Ok well I'll just trudge to my room to get it...

*back*

So here's what I found in my bag:

* black pen
* USB drive
* 2 week-old timesheet from work
* chapstick
* key for locker at work
* random bit of hairclip that fell off
* business card from travel agent
* deodorant (spray and roll-on)
* red pen
* swipe card for work
* headband
* purse
* tissues
* permanent marker
* feminine hygiene products


And that's it. I don't carry any makeup with me, as I generally don't wear any during the day. I always have my phone wherever I go as well. Not a very interesting bag :/

Day 24: A letter to your parents

I'm going to write two separate letters - one for my mum and one for my father.


Dear Mum,

You are my best friend in the entire world. We have been each other's rock since I was young. Even after you got married, it was just the two of us. I can't even imagine the sacrifices you've made for me over the years, and I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough.

Sometimes I wonder why you've made the choice you have. You don't seem happy, and you haven't for a long time. So why do you put up with it? Why not leave? You talk about it constantly, and I just wish you had the courage to do it. I don't want to see you get even more hurt.

I don't know why you lied to me for so long. You never said anything nice about him, and yet you're surprised when I don't seem too interested in finding him. I don't know why you kept him away from me when I was younger. Just because you had issues with him, doesn't mean you have the right to deny me to get to know my own father. I don't think I'll ever forgive you for that.

I love you beyond words. I hope that when I get back from my trip next year that you'll agree to move out with me.

Love Shannon

***

Dear Greg,

I don't know you. I've heard things about you, but it's all been biased so I don't know what to believe. I can understand why you might have freaked out when you heard Mum was pregnant, but I don't understand how you can just ignore your own child. Although I've recently found out you did want to see me, I wish you had fought harder.

I don't think I want to know you. But I want to know if I have any siblings out there. Or if you even know about them.

I guess I don't have anything else to say.

From Shannon.

Day 23: Something you crave a lot

Well there are the normal chocolate cravings at certain times of the month.

But I guess I always crave attention. But from males. And not in a sexual validation way. I'm well aware of my daddy issues, but I always feel the need to be validated by men and that they won't leave. But then I push them away because I'm afraid they're going to leave. So yeah, I have issues.


Right now, I have a craving for... water. How exciting!

Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else

Gah, I shouldn't even be doing this. I should be focusing all my attention on the 2000 word essay that's due tomorrow, which I've only done about 600-700 words of.

But back to the point. I really don't think I'm that much different from other people. I guess I'm different from my friends because I travel a lot, but that's pretty much it.

I can suck my top lip up to my nose. This never fails to amuse people, and it amuses me in turn watching them trying to do it. I can't remember how or when I discovered I could do this, though.

I have an amazing talent for bullshit. Really, you should see some of the essays I turn in. They rabbit on absolute garbage, and I have no idea what I'm talking about most of the time, but I can spin my words in a way that makes me sound learned. Which is really helpful when you're up most of the night trying to finish assignments.

Speaking of, I better get back to it.

Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy

Well I've already picked books on another entry, so I'll go with something else.

Traveling makes me very happy. I love going to new places, and even going back to places I've been before. I love exploring the culture of a place, and the adventures it has to offer. I need some kind of adrenaline rush when I'm somewhere, otherwise I get bored very easily. I love pushing myself out of my comfort zone, forced to go where I normally wouldn't.

This is why I'm excited to go to Europe. Some things will feel familiar, but most others will be completely different to what I'm used to. And I can't wait.

Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

I see myself getting with a lot of people. But that's just fantasy and dreaming. Heh.

I'm not going to make a list of perfect characteristics that pretty much exclude the entire male population. I will list what I'm attracted to, but that seems to change a lot as well. But as of today, this is what I find attractive in a potential mate:

* Dark hair
* Any colour eyes
* Physical build from athletic to overweight. I dislike skinny guys
* Sense of humour - dark, sarcastic, dry
* Able to cook - I suck, and have no desire to learn if I don't have to
* Loves to read. And by that I mean novels, not comics
* Would prefer to spend a night in, rather than a fancy restaurant
* Charming, a little cheeky
* Taller than me
* Wants to explore the world
* Likes me for me

And that's pretty much it. He doesn't have to have the exact same interests as me, as we can learn from each other. I would find it pretty boring if we worked in the same field, as we would bore each other by discussing what happened at work that day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm open for anything at the moment. But no assholes.

Day 19: Nicknames you have and why you have them

Shanny
Pretty straight-forward, as it's just a shortening of my name. I actually used to hate it when I was younger, but I grew to like it through high school and stuff. It still cracks me up when Nikki's parents call me it :P

Shannononon
This one started in high school, but I can't remember how or why. You kinda have to pronounce it in a posh English-kinda accent to get it right.

SHANNON!
You can see they were creative with nicknames. This one has to be pretty much shouted in a retarded voice. It's hard to explain. It started from when my human biology teacher called out my name when I was talking during class, and it kinda took off from there. I guess you had to be there.


And I think that's pretty much it, except for the normal variation of "lips" that everyone in my group gets called.

Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have

I swear I've already done this one.

So, plans. I plan on going to Sydney in 9 days. I'm planning on going to see Robin Williams live, which will be awesome. I'm planning on having a chillaxed Christmas and New Year. I plan on traveling to Europe next June, in which I'll have the time of my life. I plan on being a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding.

Dreams. I dream of winning lotto. Living in a beautiful little cottage in the sort-of country. Having a couple of kids, horses and maybe a husband. You don't need to have a husband to have kids. I also dream of publishing a fantasy novel.

My goals are to graduate with a Professional & Creative Writing degree. Start off in travel writing and ultimately move up to a book editor.

That's really all that comes to mind whilst I'm currently distracted by tv and playing games.

Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

This one is a bit tricky. I don't think there's one specific person I would want to trade lives with. But I thought about possibly trading lives with an artist.

I'm so jealous of people who are creative and are able to express themselves through art. It's so amazing. And not those people who paint random brush strokes and call it a masterpiece. I'm talking about portraits and beautiful landscapes. Those traditional art pieces that blow your mind. I wish I had that kind of talent.

Other than that, there really wouldn't be anyone else I would wanna switch lives with.

Day 16: Another picture of yourself

Choices choices. I think I might go with a drunken one.

This was from one if the many parties in year 12. I believe this was the birthday party of a girl I didn't really like, but everyone was going so I did as well. Yes, I'm on the ground and yes, that is a six-pack card on my head. The best part of the night was when we were stumbling walking home. My friend lived only 100m away, but it took us forever. It didn't help that we decided to pick up a few letterboxes along the way and put them in the portaloo that was on a construction site. I fell down a few times as well. I would be "walking" and then suddenly I was on the ground. And then I tried to open the portaloo on the opposite side of the door.

Good times.

Day 15: Put your iPod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

I've been looking forward to this entry, purely for the fact that I don't have to put much effort in or think too much about it. I'm also interested to see how many Backstreet Boys or Spice Girls songs come up.

1. Crank That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy

2. You're Beautiful - James Blunt

3. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers

4. Candyman - Christina Aguilera

5. We Will Rock You - Queen

6. The Lady is a Vamp - Spice Girls

7. Maneater - Nelly Furtado

8. Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

9. Anywhere for You - Backstreet Boys

10. Downfall - Matchbox Twenty


Well that was very disappointing. I think I only actually listen to one of those songs on a regular basis; I just skip the rest. Maybe I should do a clean up?

Day 14: A picture of you and your family

Umm, there are no photos of me and my family. Mum greatly dislikes having her picture taken. I seem to remember the only photo the 3 of us have together was when I was like 8. But I have no idea where that actual picture is...


In more exciting news, I have booked my flights to and from London for next year! Eeee! Just gotta email the Contiki lady to let her know my flight details, so she can book my hotel for before the tour. Then I gotta go to the travel agent and organise flights from Athens to Prague, where I want to stay for a couple of days. And then Prague to London, where I will be staying for just over a week.

EXCITING!

Day 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Honestly, no one has hurt me enough recently that I need to write a letter about it. Life has been pretty cruisy, and nothing much has happened. Well, nothing out of the ordinary anyway.

Although, I did hurt my elbow today on my steering wheel. So perhaps I should write something to myself about not being a total klutz while getting out of the car?

Day 12: How you found out about blogging and why you have one

So I'm fifteen minutes late for this one, but I got distracted by watching Bones. Not my fault that it's an awesome tv show!

As for finding out about blogging, I think it was pretty much the same as everyone else. I've had a blog on LJ, but I didn't really do much with it. I just made it to see what my friends were writing. I had another one on another site, but I didn't really write much in that one either. Mainly whinging and doing surveys. And I made this one because I was bored, and Nikki told me to. Hah.

I'm hoping to make another one for when I go away to Europe. I think I might actually make it a writing journal, because I can't guarantee that I'll get time to get onto the internet everyday and sit down and blab about everything that's happened. It'll just be easier to write it in a journal as I go along. Whether I bother to type it all up remains to be seen.

Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends

I just wasted a good fifteen minutes going through old photos. God, they were good times. I miss house parties. We would get the best photos, and we all hung out and had a fabulous time. But now we're all overage so people tend to go out to celebrate things. Shame.

Anywho, I decided to go with this picture.

                                                       

This was from our year 12 graduation ceremony. As you can see, we took this very seriously. Heh. The thing I remember most was when I was getting up to go and get my certificate thing, I was warned just in time that my skirt was tucked into my undies. EMBARRASSING! And I'm bummed that I missed the after party, since I had to work the next day.

Those were the days.

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you're happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

I don't really have specific songs that I listen to when I'm in those moods. I tend to listen to songs that are similar to my mood. If I'm feeling sad or down, I listen to slow, depressing songs. If I'm feeling happy or hyper, I listen to songs with a good beat.

But sometimes I can be hyper and then a slow song comes on that can reverse my mood. Or I can be down and an upbeat song can lift my mood. It all really depends on what's been happening that day, I guess.


Wow, that was incredibly boring!

Day 9: Something you're proud of in the past few days

Honestly, I haven't done anything to be worthy of pride. I've just gone to uni and work. I did put down my deposit for Europe, and I'm planning on getting everything done next week. But that's not really a huge accomplishment, since I was going to do it anyway.

I guess I'm proud of myself for not giving into food temptation these days. It's not been that hard, actually. For some reason, I've kinda gone off junk food. I used to frequent take-away places a lot, but the thought of eating at them now makes me kinda sick. Don't know why, but I'm enjoying it. Not that I'm eating more healthy foods, I'm just eating less. Which I guess is bad, but oh well.

In other news, my allergies are playing up because I was just snuggling with my cat, and now I'm all blocked up >.<

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

Blegh, goals. I have a couple of things that I want to accomplish, but they're not really 'goals.'

Book my flights and hotels for Europe
I've put my deposit down for my Contiki tour, which I'll pay the rest off soon since I already have the money for it. But I need to book my flights there and back, and also need to organise what visas I need. Plus I plan on stopping over in Prague, since my tour doesn't go there. But I'll be doing all this through a travel agent, since it's far too complicated for me to work out. And if I book it all now, I can get earlybird specials and stuff.

Go bike riding at least twice a week for 20 minutes
It doesn't sound difficult, but I'm so incredibly unfit it's not funny. It was quite an effort when I went riding the other day, but I think I went too hard too fast. I really need to get into shape, but I don't want to rely on just one form of exercise, which is why I got the bike.

Get all my assignments done before I go away
I have a couple of assignments due the week I'm away, so I really need to get into them and hand them in before I flight out to Sydney. Thankfully, one of them is an online submission, so I don't have to worry about rushing to get to uni before 4pm.

And that's pretty much it. I have nothing else to do this month, and I can't wait for the end of semester!

Day 7: A picute of someone/something that's had an impact on you

I was thinking about doing the same as Andie and Nikki and talk about my mum, but I thought of something different. Don't get me wrong, my mum is the most important person in my life. But she doesn't have as much impact on me as she used to. So I've decided to go with my passion.

Books have had such a huge influence in my life. They've been there when I've been sad, happy, angry, or just want to get away from everything. Being able to escape into the realms of fiction has really helped me through some serious issues in life. I've gotten through boring days at work, long plane trips, bouts of boredom, or just the need to believe that good triumphs over evil.

Books have helped influence what I want to do in life, and what I want to write about. They've made me question my own morals and values, and to have a deeper understanding of human nature. The feel of a book in my hands is something that I can't describe, and I don't understand people who have that iPad app. There is no substitute for a real book.

So yes, my mum has been one of the most influential people in my life, but books have been there when she hasn't. Which I guess is incredibly sad, but I don't really care.

Day 6: Favourite superhero and why

I'm not really into the whole superhero thing. I mean, if they were so powerful, they could get rid of their arch-enemies pretty easily. Their fail.

But if I had to choose, I would probably go with Superman. He had actual powers, even though he was an alien. Although I don't understand how Kryptonite weakens him, since it's his home planet. How did he survive there as a baby? And the whole Clark Kent thing. He keeps his identity secret by wearing glasses. Seriously? Is everyone in Metropolis retarded? That is so ridiculous.

I may also be partial to Superman because of the Smallville series. Tom Welling is a babe!

Day 5: A picture of somewhere you've been to

When I saw the topic for today, I knew exactly what I wanted to post.

Going to Wellington was possibly the best trip that I have ever been on. It definitely satisfied the Lord of the Rings nerd within me, and it was just a beautiful city. It wasn't as big as Perth, but my god it was definitely more vibrant. You had the main culture strip that was full of every shop you could possibly think of. And I was staying on the corner of it. It was so awesome.

The LotR tour I went on blew my mind. It was just me and some guy from Norway or something. Our tour guy was really cool, and his brother actually works at Weta Workshop. He was telling us about how one tour he gave, it was around the time of the Weta Christmas Party. So when they went past the workshop, Richard Taylor (the head of the workshop) came out and invited them in! But apparently the family weren't really huge fans, so they didn't get into it. I was like :o I would have totally gone insane if that was me. And the tour guy agreed that the whole thing was wasted on them. Devastating!

But yeah, that was the best trip I've ever been on. We got to go to so many locations. The Rivendell location was so beautiful. It was this rainforest, and it was a bit of a trek to get to it. But it was totally worth it. The only bad thing was that it was freezing cold! My hair was turning to ice! But oh well. I definitely want to go back there someday.

Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn't have

This one is very easy: Procrastination.

It seems to be the bane of most people's existence. Why do something today when you can put it off to tomorrow? Yes, I realise I've completely changed the old saying to fit my own needs!

So yes, procrastination. I always put things off to the last minute. I tell myself that I'll start things way before they're due, like uni assignments. But I always end up spending the last few days rushing to get something finished. I'm not as bad as I used to be actually, but it's still not good.

Same goes for getting healthier. I put off buying healthy food and starting exercise, making up excuses like I have uni assignments to do and I can start it tomorrow. But I tend to put a bit more effort in if I have an event coming up where I want to feel good for. Like a wedding, or I'm going away next year and I wanna be able to actually go out and see places and not have to stop all the time because I'm so unfit.

But I'm working on it. I'm actually going to go for a bike ride later today. I haven't ridden a bike in over 10 years, so it should be interesting. I rode it up and down the driveway the other day to make sure it worked, and whoever said something was as easy as riding a bike, clearly hadn't gone 10 years without riding one!

At least I didn't put off posting this blog until the last minute. That's a start, right?

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends

Ok, there are so many possible pictures I could put up here. I was about to say that 95% of them aren't appropriate for public viewing, then I remembered that most of them are on Facebook. Hah.

So I picked this one from one of our last parties in high school.

If you couldn't tell, we had quite a few drinks at this stage. I love this photo because it has so many people from the different groups in high school. We weren't cliquey like they are in American shows/films and we all actually got along pretty well. But it was awesome how we all came together in the end. Saying that, I wouldn't go out of my way to get into contact with most of them. Meh.

Day 2: The meaning behind your blog name

I don't have a deep and meaningful story behind the title of my blog. I actually stole the name from a guy I went to high school with. We were doing something in drama, and I think it was something to do with fairytales. So he decided to create a character that was the dark side of Snow White: Black River.

And that's pretty much it. I've loved it ever since, and I used it as a username on an old forum. I remember my cousin making a signature for it as well. Good times!

Day 1: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

So I was going to start this after I posted my intention to, but my computer was being stupid and it was my bedtime. So I'm starting it now. When I should be working on my group presentation for tomorrow. Meh.

The most recent pictures of me would be from my cousin's wedding. The trouble is finding one where I don't look epically trashed or a hideous beast. Quite a challenge. So I picked one from when I was bored waiting for the reception to start and decided to camwhore:

And here's my (not so) interesting facts:

1. I have no dad. Well, I obviously have a father, but I don't know him. I met him once when I was 8 years old, and I have vague recollections of it. I just remember he was old and short, had grey hair and was wearing blue. It was at some cricket club thing because my uncle played cricket with him. And that's pretty much it. I kinda want to know him, but also don't. I would love to know if I have any siblings out there, though.

2. I love traveling. I've been to Sydney, Melbourne, Gold Coast, Auckland and Wellington. I've also been to various parts of Western Australia, but I don't really count that. I just love exploring new places, and going back to places I love (like Sydney). I love getting involved with the atmosphere, and I'm probably more free than I am at home. I'm going to Europe next year, and I'm so excited it's unbelievable. Just the thought of going to places where history goes back thousands of years is mind-blowing. And it's also a challenge for me to be completely out of my comfort zone. This trip is seriously going to change my life, and I can't wait.

3. I'm a bookworm. I devour books. I honestly don't know how I would stay sane if I wasn't able to escape into the realms of fantasy. I don't really like reading about real-life things, as books are my escape from real life. Obviously books contain real life elements, like The Da Vinci Code and stuff, but they take you on an epic journey that changes the lives of those characters in the books. It annoys me to no end when Hollywood attempts to adapt beloved books to screen and completely bungling them because they don't understand what the core of the book is about. See: Harry Potter.

4. I'm currently studying Professional and Creative Writing at Curtin University. My ultimate goal is to become a book editor, and this course will definitely help me on my way to that. However, that is my long term goal. my short term goal is to get into travel writing, since it already goes with my passion of traveling. And I love writing about the places that I've been to. I know it's not all glamour and 5-star hotels, but I don't mind. My tutor was actually telling me that a lot of traveling magazines prefer you to start off as a freelance writer, talking about experiences that you've been on at your own expense, since you'll be more interested in it and give a more honest opinion. So that's something I'll definitely be looking into as I go through my course. I won't even have to have my degree to get into that field, so that's a plus.

5. I'm lazy. My organisation skills are pretty awesome, it's just my follow-through that leaves a lot to be desired. I'm good at organising and doing things for other people, because I'm afraid of letting them down. Whereas I don't really care if it's only about myself. Kinda weird.

6. I have serious road rage. I rant and yell when I'm driving, and even carry on when I'm just a passenger. I kinda got it from my mum, but she's no where near as bad as me. Sometimes I scare her when I really get into it. But it's really not my fault. If Perth drivers weren't incredibly shit, then I would have nothing to rage over.

7. I get epic mood swings. I can be having the time of my life one minute, and be incredibly depressed the next. I've been told numerous times that I need to go and see someone, but the thought of talking to a complete stranger about my problems seems ridiculous to me. I went once, but the guy reminded me of the Ben dude from Lost, so I never went back. I've gotten better at noticing when my mood shifts, so I'm not as bad as I used to be. But I still put most people off, so I obviously need to work more on it.

8. I miss athletics. I used to do it when I was in primary school, and sometimes compete in high school. I was a sprinter, but loved doing field events like long jump as well. I miss being fit and healthy. I loved being on the track. I was fast, and proud of it. I could beat almost all the boys. I was happy. I'm hoping to get fit again, because I really miss running.

9. I'm lonely. I mean, I have great friends and family, but a part of me yearns to share my life with someone. Yet I'm my own worst enemy. I don't really like meeting new people. I rarely go out and socialise. I'm happy in my own little bubble. But I do worry about being alone, and whether I'll have the chance to settle down and have a family. I really don't care about getting married, since you don't need a piece of paper to be committed to someone. But yeah, I wish for someone in my life.

10. I'm a mediator. I sit on the fence. I don't like conflict, and hate to get into arguments. I only fight back if someone is seriously trash talking me, or I'm drunk. Otherwise, I just let it slide and stew quietly. I hold grudges, and don't forgive easily. Or at all, most of the time.

11. I want to move out of home. I hate living at home. I hate living with my stepdad. If I won lotto, I would be out of here in a flash. But I can't afford to move out on my own, and none of my friends are financially able to move with me, so I'm stuck here. I hope something changes soon, otherwise it's going to get very ugly.

12. Surveys (kinda like this one) take me a long time to fill out. I get distracted by other things (like what I'm supposed to be doing), or I can't think of what to say. 15 interesting facts about myself? Seriously? I'm not that interesting.

13. I'm afraid of deep water. I'm not afraid of drowning, I know how to swim. But the thought of something possibly lurking in the water underneath me scares the crap out of me. Even in pools I sometimes have to remind myself that there's nothing there. Weird.

14. I do all my best thinking at night. Whenever I have an assignment due, I usually put it off until the evening because I know that's when I get the best ideas. I do attempt to write during the day, but it usually looks like crap and I end up re-doing it anyway. I think it's because of the quietness of nighttime.

15. I sometimes pass the time when I'm bored by thinking about me and my friends will be like when we're 40. Will we have families? What kind of careers will we have? Will we still be in touch? It's interesting and scary at the same time.


Thank god that's over. It's taken me a total of about 2 hours to do this. But I've been working on a presentation for uni tomorrow, so that's been distracting me. Plus reading and putting my new bike together. Looking forward to tomorrow's entry. Hopefully it's a lot shorter!

30 Day Challenge

So yeah, my first and last post was almost 2 months ago. I've been meaning to get back into this, but my life really isn't that interesting and I've been bogged down with last minute assignments.

But I was reading a conversation on Twitter between a couple of friends about the 30 Day Challenge, so I thought I would push myself to actually do it. Just gonna post what they are, so I don't forget:

Day 1: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 2: The meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: A picture of you and your friends
Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 5: A picture of somewhere you've been to
Day 6: Favourite super hero and why
Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why
Day 9: Something you're proud of in the past few days
Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12: How you found out about blogging and why you have one
Day 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14: A picture of you and your family
Day 15: Put you ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
Day 16: Another picture of yourself
Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19: Nicknames you have and why you have them
Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future
Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23: Something you crave a lot
Day 24: A letter to your parents
Day 25: What I would find in your bag
Day 26: What do you think about your friends
Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28: A picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30: Your favorite song 

Passion and the loss of it

I used to be a passionate person. I was passionate about many things. Certain movies, people. Reading. God, I used to love reading. I would just absorb the words from the page and could imagine myself in the stories. It was exhilarating and enlightening. The people in the stories would become my closest friends as I read about them over and over again.

I feel like I have no passion now. I have no drive, no motivation. To do anything. I struggle to read the words that used to fill me with hope. I want to weep at the thought of facing the world another day. To put a smile on my face and pretend everything is okay. That I'm fine. Everything is dandy. Except it's not.

I sit and waste hours wallowing in my own misery. Wondering why I'm on this earth, what's my purpose? I thought studying would help lift me out of this gloom, but I feel like it's making me sink even deeper. I'm nowhere near the pit of doom that I was in a few years ago, thanks to strong family and friends who pulled me through. But there's something missing in my life. And I have no idea what it is.

What's keeping me going at the moment is the thought of escape. To make a fresh start. And I hope that my trip next year is going to be the kick start that I need. That it will refresh my mind, body and soul. That I will gain the strength to move out of this emotionally draining household. That I won't be alone forever.

I still have hope. And I'm clinging to it as if it's the last life jacket on a sinking ship. I guess in some ways it is.